Broken strings ,

Had my combine science common test today :(
Regret being over confidence with my chem :/
Pray hard i'll get the mark i desire :(
I suddenly have the urge to post something about my mommy.
:/
Shall start it now.
-
She's not the type of mother that your friends will be envy.
She's not the type of mother who gives her kids a lot of freedom.
She's not the type of mother who is very reasonable, instead she's super unreasonable and rather stubborn.
She's not the type of mother who will lavish gifts to the kids buying everything the kid wants , but she do pamper her kids.
She's the type of mother who loves to nag at her kids , sacrifice her meals just to support the family needs.
Trying her very best to give us what we want , even if we talk back to her or whatsoever.
She's the type of mother who often say " I don't ask for more i just want you to work hard on your grades , get a certificate , go up poly then university perhaps and get a good job, don't be like me , end up suffering" (something like that !!! )
She's the type of mother who always like to act cute , and keep hehehehe one.
She might not be the best mother , but she's the best i ever had ( Obviously because i only have one mother! )
I still remember , the first time i argue with her, i used a very strong word, i asked her to go die. That time i was only primary 3 , thinking back, why am i so childish in the past ! Must be watch too much television already.
She was upset when she heard it , and told me to repeat it. So i did, and i got a slap on my face.
First slap of my life , i guess.
Obviously at that point i sort of hated her, but it didn't last for long.
As soon when i grown up, started to have my own friends and stuff.
Neglected her a lil. Until when i got into a serious relationship with 19.
She heard from my DEAR sister and yeah she knew about it , but kept quiet( although sometimes still make noise).
Although she don't like the idea of me being in a relationship at this age which she consider still young,
However , every time i go out, she will say " Gen na ge desmond chu qu shi bu shi, har , wo gen ni jiang ah , ni xian zai hai xiao hor bu yao luan luan lai hor " (*Going out with that desmond ah ? I tell you hor , you now still young , don't go do "things" hor* Something like that la)
And i will reply " No la , siao" in a rather pissed off tone.
Then she will walk away.
When i get older , i don't really communicate much with her , because often it will lead to quarrels.
Thus i would rather talk to my friends than her.
I don't think she will feel good when her own daughter whom she dote on , don't even wanna approach her for advice and stuff.
Got once i remember when i first broke up with 19, i came home crying.
She saw , She asked " 你这么了?谁欺负你?你是Mommy的宝贝，谁敢欺负我的宝贝" (*What's wrong ? Got people bully you isit? You're mommy's precious, who dare bully my precious*)
At that point i was very very touched by her words.
Really wanna hug her and cry out.
But i didn't, i ignored her instead.
But after that day, i was acting as per normal.
Hmm , i remember that once she was coughing real badly.
Really very badly , till she wanna vomit.
I was super worried for her.
I attended to her immediately once i hear her cough.
Gave her water and pat her back.
My heart was aching when i hear her cough.
I nearly cried, and i just left her side.
Swallowing back all my tears, didn't want her to know i'm crying.
So much of pride!
I know she won't be able to read this , but still.
Mommy ah mommy, i love you very muchy.
Though i often argue with you , but i always feel so guilty.
I want to apologise to you for being so not understanding.
Rebutting your every sentence, fill them with a lil sarcasm at times.
Although i always say i hate you in the past in my blog.
Cursing and swearing you sometimes.
But i really regretted :(
And mommy ! I love you :-*
Very much, you might not appear as the best mom to others, but you're the best to me <3